Today I had to have one of the most heart breaking conversations with my oldest son about his birthday that went something like this:
Him: Am I gonna be with you on my birthday?
Me: You’re gonna be with me, [your step-mom], and your daddy. We’ll try to get your brother there too, ok?
Him: Am I getting presents?
Me: *holding back from lecturing him about gratitude and material things* of course. I’m gonna make yummy food and your dad is probably going to get you something else.
Him: Like toys?
Me: Mhm
Him: And [my brother’s] dad will get me presents?
Me: *crushed* No bud, he’s not your dad anymore. But that’s ok, right?
Him: Yeah, I know.
And he walked away with just a tiny hint of disappointment. Divorce is such a stressful situation to be in, and while I came out a better person (in my eyes), it’s heartbreaking to have to put kids through that. I never want my kids to become so attached to another person only to have that relationship end.
I know that it prepares them for the reality of how relationships can start and end out of nowhere, but there’s a big part of me that wants to protect them from that type of pain.
This is supposed to be a writing blog, I know, but I used to be a lot more open about sharing personal moments. I kind of want to get back into it. Maybe. So this was some insight into a single mother of two’s daily life. Hopefully I’m not the only one out there with this thought process.
Raine August 