Its no secret that I don’t like my kids on social media. I have had absolute creeps around me that try to get to me through my kids, and I watch enough true crime to know how sick people can be.
The most recent disgusting thing to have happened was a friend – I don’t even like calling him that, because after he admitted to stalking his ex, I started dodging his calls and texts, and we weren’t that close to begin with, he was a glorified roommate of mine and my ex’s for like a month – sent me a video of my own child (he’s school age now, but the video was of him at 3 or 4 months old, when this guy was living with us). I was so wigged out but he thought having a video of my child was funny. I blocked him without a second thought. Who saves a video of a baby that isn’t yours, you barely have a relationship with the parents, then you send it years later?
With that said, one of the major lessons I’m trying to teach the boys is bodily autonomy. Their body, their rules. They don’t have to hug anyone they don’t want to. They must ask permission before touching someone else or their things (a work in progress). And their style is up to them.
My oldest is getting into nail polish and make-up, so I paint his nails for him (I’m useless with make-up, so thats a job for his step-mom). My youngest, the front man of the family, has been growing out his hair since last year. These are choices they make on their own. I wasn’t given such options growing up (see my post on Sexual Misconduct in the Writing Community for insight on that).
These boys are my everything. No matter what I do, it’ll never feel like its enough but if I can give them a childhood that they don’t have to recover from, then at least I’ll know I did my best.