It’s been nearly a year since my last post and I have some explaining to do. If you’ve been a follower on Twitter, you know the last year has been a wild ride. If not, let me break it down for you per month.
January 2022: I was stressed about finding a house that fit my kids’ needs while also being fairly easy to maintain, and not being outbid. All the while struggling to make rent each month because renters are just as opportunistic as every capitalistic leech.
February: I started dating someone I thought was my endgame. He was a fellow writer and expressed a desire to build a future with me. I finally closed on a house, and had to hustle in order to make sure I would be able to pay for gas and moving fees within the next month.
March: I moved into my new home, relationship trouble started. I was ghosted a LOT and then he would re-emerge and blame his mental health – all the while talking to other girls in the writing community (unbeknownst to me). We still decided to plan a meet-up around his birthday.
April: I was asked to be a part of a poetry collection (linked down below) and was so stoked. However, going back home seemed to cause an influx of traumatic memories from my childhood. The visit was definitely necessary, but it was equally painful. On the day I was supposed to drive four hours to visit my boyfriend, he ghosted me. I was crushed, but I said I wasn’t going to stay with someone who treated me like that and I didn’t.
May: I rekinkled a situationship and we started meeting up once or twice a month. I also made the executive decision to focus on healing my childhood trauma, getting this house looking cute, and writing.
June/July: Processing a lot of anger and resentment, worrying about family, but ultimately working a lot and making sure my bills were paid. I ended up getting a flat tire twice and dropped my phone, cracking the screen to the point I couldn’t contact anyone. I was extremely lucky that I had my friend I could rely on to save my butt.
August: Things slowly calmed down, and I got my first hit of real solid inspiration for a new adventurous story involving a Pirate Queen and a siren. I started writing poetry more based on the story ideas and characters that were in my head.
September: I hit a brick wall. Things became too much to handle. I couldn’t keep up with social media, being a decent friend, and things that were happening IRL (work, bills, house-related chores). I truly don’t know how people can keep up with both working and being a social creature, but I couldn’t so I took time away.
October: My favorite month, the month of spookiness. I had some car issues and persistently intensifying work drama, but I felt like I was present in my life. Slowly things started clicking and making sense. I got back to the mountains and started baking and decorating again, something I had lost a passion for.
November: My foster mom visited with me and my boys, and I spoke with the situationship on a different level, which added some confusion to my already conflicted heart. Go figure.
December: Like the proper emo kid that I am, I was transparent with friends on socials regarding how difficult the holidays are for me, but I was struck with an idea to get my boys and I a tree and stockings anyway. I- er, Santa also stopped by while they were at their dad’s. It was a nice little surprise for them, especially given that I had told them Santa would probably only be going to their dad’s houses.
Now that January is nearly over, I wanted to try to recommit myself to this site. I want to share projects, publications, my favorite self-published and indie authors, and some goals. As we know, nothing says motivation quite like public humiliation.
Speaking of publications, I’m now featured in two collections and a gothic lit magazine. Last year I was alongside a ton of talented poets in the fourth Crow Calls, found here. I was also featured in the Gargoyles edition of The Crow’s Quill, published in July 2022 (free to read) with a tragic romance between a witch and her gargoyle protector.
Most recently, Crow Calls V is available for pre-order where you can find my poetry along with other pieces with a dark romantic theme.
Ready to see more updates, reviews, potential fangirling and hopefully more publication news? Hit that follow button!
Raine August 